Sundog Rising!
Reflections on living the life literary by the Urban Sundog
Second Guessing Yourself
Why is it that honest writers can never be certain about what they’ve just written?
I think it might have something to do with endorphins. For a creative sort, even doing some bad writing stimulates the brain so much we think everything’s wonderful off the hop. I find I don’t really get a good perspective on things until about five years later.
But after a little experience, you do realize that no matter how good writing might make you feel at the time, not everything you produce is going to be that consistently wonderful. And there’s always a few pieces you do that are so uniquely your voice and vision that you think they’re nothing less than bloody fantastic. But other people either pass them over with at best an “enh”, or don’t get them at all. And they tell you that. They actually say “I don’t get it.” And you stand there staring at them, stunned. How can you not get it, it’s so wonderful! “But I don’t get it. I don’t know what’s going on.” How can you not know what’s going on! Etc., etc. …
At which point “enh” starts sounding pretty good.
So after a time, any writer will start second guessing him or herself. Is it as good as I think it is? Can it be that good? What if it’s crap? How can I tell? You’d think I’d know, I wrote it!
Any good editor will tell you to always show your work to a different, trusted reader. Which they think must grow on trees. Always readily available and with all the time in the world to dedicate themselves to reading what you’re incapable of being certain of yourself, good and bad. For free.
No, I have gone that route in the past, and even when I have successfully found a trusted reader whose opinion I can accept — and they are out there, they’re just usually too busy — that doesn’t always work either!
I showed one story I really liked myself to a woman whose opinion I value quite highly, and who was familiar with my work at the time. She thought the story sucked so bad she couldn’t even finish reading it, and didn’t hesitate to tell me so. But I really liked the piece, so, without making any changes, I submitted it to a small journal anyway. They loved it and made it the feature piece in their next issue. Not the sort of reaction I usually get. In fact, there’s more than one piece sitting around unpublished in my computer that a trusted reader or two have told me are really good, but which no editor I’ve shown them to yet has come anywhere near regarding with the same opinion.
So, taking these experiences into consideration, which I know are not unique to me, is it really any surprise therefore that many writers end up second guessing themselves into oblivion, not even waiting for the cruel world to do the job of sending them there?
I’ve read of some writers who experience some initial success and then absolutely freeze, unable to believe they can come up with anything to duplicate the standard they feel they’ve now set for themselves. Others second guess themselves into actual clinical depression. Writing is such an isolating activity in and of itself, self doubt seems to run rampant. You have to disconnect to make your work connect, so then, how can you be truly certain anything ever really … reconnects?
A stand must be taken! After giving the matter some thought — then deciding that I must be completely wrong — but then thinking no, dammit, that’s the whole problem! This is what I dare to say is the best attitude to take towards the problem.
Get it out there anyway.
If, after you go through the process of finishing the piece so it is legitimately polished and presentable to an audience and the work still satisfies you, even if there are nay-sayers it is better to put the story out there and have an audience tell you it was a mistake, then to run the risk of suppressing something that might genuinely push the envelope, even for just a small percentage of your readers.
And I’m not going to think about it any more, I’m just going to stand by that.
*****
REALITY FICTION AND BEYOND!
This week:
Continuing The Twitchy Gal with Chapter Thirty-Three posted on Monday and Chapter Thirty-Four coming on Friday, December 5th at:
http://realficone.blogspot.ca/
Exploring the complications of practical metaphoric physics as the countryside goes insane around you! To say nothing of unexpected pregnancies …
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